Page Text: — God
For any given reason, guys will tell you to “walk away.”
I understand the impulse, but this “criticize her and quit” is dramatically over-recommended in our scene. Wise men know when to back out of “a bad investment”… but most guys learning Game aren’t actually “wise men” (yet). They love this “criticize her and quit” solution because it appeals to ego (and pride), it’s “safe” (less risk of rejection), and it requires no effort (it’s lazy).
I want to find that “warm, wet, sticky space” between being a high-ego, lazy quitter (a lot of guys) and a low-value, dancing monkey that doesn’t know when to quit (also a lot of guys). I have some love and understanding for men in these situations, but I have enough experience to challenge both ideas.
We can do better.
“One of the mindsets that all player’s share is something I call ‘being comfortable in the grey area.'”
— Bobby Rio
This is excellent. Red hot.
Guys should resist the urge to “criticize and quit.” They should instead “hold the tension” of the moment, and practice displaying some value when tested (by girls or by life in general).
That’s right.
MY RESPONSE: An Example of FRAME and RE-FRAMING
I could have ignored her. I could have come back with something dismissive or used humor to cruise through her test (which is a pretty good solution). I could have dropped her (which is a pretty lazy solution). We have good examples of all those ideas above.
As I didn’t like her test, my first instinct was to “smash” that behavior. I wanted to use the opportunity to teach her what I want, to receive her chaos, punish her a little (chaos sucks), and then add structure to coach her into better behavior. That would allow me to make the test into something constructive.
How could I do all that?
I did this:
HER: I’m going on a date
NASH: Is this how you like to FLIRT WITH ME?
NASH: You can do better than that.
I like it. And it’s a good example that demonstrates what we call “frame control.”
I took her comment about a date and I played it back to her in the frame of “her trying to flirt with me.” It’s not dismissive (not really). It could be humorous, but it’s not super funny. What it really does is work to control the “frame” in which she and I see her test.
Maybe she was thinking: “Watch this, this will make him squirm.” I step past that frame by changing the meaning to: “I see you like to flirt with me… but you’re not very good at it.”
“Frame” is not some juvenile, power-monkey technique where you “win battles” by telling her “no.” That attitude is missing the power of frames to be more constructive and seductive. Frames are about creating a specific meaning in the relationship.
“To understand frame control , we must first have an understanding of frames: A frame is the surrounding meaning of any interaction (your reality).”
— Jon Sinn
I looked up this stuff from Sinn and Bobby Rio after I made my response, but this is almost exactly the effect I wanted to create:
“Reframe the underlying meaning to her chasing you
EX: Are you a player?
PUA: You know you’re not gonna talk your way into my pants like that
PUA: If you want me, you’re gonna have to do some serious courting”
— Jon Sinn
By correcting her and reframing her intent as trying to flirt… I had now taken her bullshit move (that was killing our love bubble) and spun it into me leading her.
I liked it.
STRUCTURE:
I have been using the word “structure” a lot recently when I talk about the potential of Game. It’s a big concept for me right now.
“In the Third Stage, you’re helping manifest the unseen thing that has to happen, that should happen, that is the right thing to happen. You intuitively feel what should happen (like an artist), what the universe wants to do, and then you use structure to create it. That is the masculine way.”
— David Deida
“You need to have the structure of: ‘What is this moment for?’ Whoever is playing the masculine in an intimacy has to define that.”
— David Deida
Gorgeous stuff from Deida.
My initial impulse was to “crush” her for fucking around. Not only to “knock her down,” but when I think of “structure,” the impulse is to lead her toward what she needs to do to have a better experience with me. We have this opportunity with all of the “women and children” in our lives.
This is a big lesson: Proper men provide structure to help the girls and the relationships thrive. This is really what I wanted that morning as she tested me.
So I “reframed her,” and then… I dove into some “role playing” so I could provide some structure:
NASH: Is this how you like to FLIRT WITH ME?
That is me setting the frame that she is a bad flirt. It is a little bit of a “ gotcha ” – a pretty accurate read of what she was doing.
I went on to “teach her” how to flirt better:
“You can do better than that.
Like this…
You: I wonder if the STRONG MAN is thinking of me???
Me: GRRRRRRRRRR
You: Ohhh, he is a little dangerous…
Me: GRRRRRRRRRR
You: I want to kiss him and touch him!!!
Me: YES, YES, YES
This ^ is better… it will help you get what you want”
I am framing myself as the “strong and dangerous man.” And I am framing her as being very into me. It’s good frame (and it isn’t about “winning” or “power,” can you see it?).
I am trying to building something. And I am specifically teaching her how to think about me. And how to do it in constructive ways.
While this kind of Game isn’t for everyone, I think this is me showing some really solid understanding of how men can lead women and create what they want. Instead of indulging my ego, or protecting myself, I used the moment to set up some structure (once again) via this “Beauty and the Beast” material.
I am “framing” her as the feminine girl seeking the attention of this “big monster,” in a way that should make her feel good. Those are actually the “roles” I want for her and me. And I am coaching her into her part of our affair.
I am literally putting words in her mouth – and words that will help us to seduce each other. Words that would feel good if she felt them. Words that help craft a beautiful image of her and I in healthy masculine/feminine polarity.
I could have done the “criticized and quit” move. But instead, I passed her test, I showed some value, and I used the opportunity to introduce more structure into our relationship.
Yes, I am happy with that response.
I didn’t actually have to “crush her.” I can get her on track so we can be “the happy girl and the dangerous man” together. And then I can praise her – which is how I want to spend my time with her. In praise, and lust, and looking “up.”
That is what I want. I am leading myself (and her) toward what I want.
HOW DID SHE RESPOND?
This is a real case study from a real girl, and she had a response:
HER: Haha
HER: Just kidding
And just like that – shit test, obliterated.
Was she really serious? No. Was she really trying to “manipulate me?” No. She was just a young girl being a brat.
After her “just kidding,” we banged out a few more back-and-forth messages and set up a date.
I didn’t go silent (which would have killed any momentum and leadership I had). I didn’t drop her (which would have killed the whole thing). I led in a masculine way, and…
The following Sunday we met up, she came directly to my place, and…
That little 19 year old girl lost her virginity. Yes, that happened. It was a beautiful night.
CONCLUSION:
You get laid more by what you do, than by what you don’t do.
“Not worth the effort.
Too much work.”
Guys are giving up way too often, and too early… and missing a lot of really great experiences.
Try a little. Put in some effort and often you’ll land on the other side, happy, more sexually satisfied, and will learn a lot more in the process.
(It’s hard to learn anything when you give up before the Game gets past the opening moves.)
“You don’t have to collapse. That is practice: Not to collapse – specifically when she is ‘insulting you,’ her rejection, pushing away, closure, creating combat, etc.”
— Deida
A girl I call Miss Pierced was “one and done” with me after I fast-closed her in December. But I kept going, and she has turned into a regular (she’ll be with me tomorrow night). In Fall 2020, I had to “double text” with Miss Words . She came through, and I had the most meaningful relationship I have had in years (I love that girl). And this Miss 19… I have since fucked her a few times. She has become a wonderful lover. I like her a lot (for a variety of reasons). And it’s “on” with her because I didn’t quit.
Those seductions happened because I wasn’t too proud or too stubborn to show a little effort. I had to “penetrate” the situation… really stick my dick into things to get it done. Sometimes it feels good to stick your dick in there.
Lots to learn here. And it all started when a man walked up to some girl at the mall and said, “Hey…”
Viva daygame.