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No soy tu dueño, I’m your lover
A few months ago, I wrote about my experience meeting two women at a restaurant bar. One of them slid me a postcard and I wrote my number down. I’ll be honest, I thought I would never hear from her again. Then a couple weeks ago, as I was winding down for bed, my phone lit up a few times. In the first message was a picture of the postcard I wrote on from the restaurant. We were all pretty tipsy that night, but I hadn’t forgotten about that experience. It took long enough, but I guess her situation had changed, and our encounter at the bar left an impression on her. It left an impression on me too, because despite me saying, “She’s not my ideal prospect…” I was curious to hear more from her. This was also a lesson in patience. Things don’t always happen immediately, like we’ve been programmed to think. Even with that Amazon order that shows up on your doorstep two days later; a million events happen to make that possible. Our lives are millions of events that are happening/that we make happen even as I write, but they don’t usually happen over night .
The reality is I had dealt with a few women like her in my younger days, after my divorce. This is your late 30s, highly driven, very successful career woman. A lot of times they’ve been a few notches above bubbly, more like aggressive. Some might say they are in their masculine energy. I had never thought of it like that until I started learning more about polarity in this space. And that I was more in my feminine energy, and maybe that’s why I was attracting the women I was attracting. But I wonder… while I think there’s some truth to that, how real is that?
We met about a week later for drinks. She sat on the opposite side of me, and I told her she feels far away. “Come sit over here, next to me”, as I invited her over with my body, gesturing that the space was open and ready for her. Our conversation was pretty light, but her energy was a lot for me right from the beginning. It had been a long while since I had been with this kind of woman. In these situations I usually say less. She could go on forever about nothing, then about work, then about life. For me, again, I’m gathering information. Is this someone I’d invite back to my place? Is this someone I want to get close to? How close? With each new input, I’m deciding what’s next.
After the first drink, we finally touch on relationships and I ask her what happened to the guy she was seeing. I can’t remember all the reasons why, but she said it didn’t work out. From what she told me, and what I gather she’s a serial monogamist. She’s had a succession of long term relationships back to back without much break in between. Ideally she says she wants a “partnership.” When girls tell me that these days I just say, “OK, cool.” The first time she asked me what I was looking for I avoided the question. Later on in the conversation she asks me again and I tell her straight up, “I’m looking for lovers.” I go on to say that it would be nice to have something long term, but even then we are free to live our lives as we see fit. We’re speaking English for the most part, but we drop some Spanglish here and there. So I tell her, “No soy tu dueño. We get together when we can, and we enjoy each other while we can.”
Some might not like being so explicit, especially so early on, but I’m practicing not hiding my dick. And since I’m leaving this city I have nothing to lose. Girls that are truly looking for something “serious” will tell me bye once they’ve heard this or if they sense this; on the contrary, after I returned from the bathroom, she was even more receptive than before. She had moved from the seat beside me, to the seat across from me and held out her hand for me to hold. We finished off our drinks reading the wrinkles in each other’s hands. My hands are smooth, but calloused from the work . Her hands are soft, like the paws of a kitten that don’t know the heat of the asphalt or the rugged terrain of the earth. Regardless of what I thought of the date, I’ll usually go in for a hug and a peck on the cheek and leave it at that. As I moved out from the peck, she moved in towards me for the kiss. Her lips felt like silk. It was the type of kiss that made me want to melt right there on the sidewalk, even though it was 20 degrees F/-6 degrees C outside.
We made plans to have dinner a few days later. At this point, I’m anticipating meeting her. I couldn’t wait to get her alone. As she sat down, I could feel her intense energy emanating from her being. It seemed like she was always on the go. Like she never stopped to take a breath and slow down. She said she makes decisions all day, so when she gets off work she doesn’t want to think about anything. Decision made. We opted for the course menu, and let it flow. We met over food and wine, so I imagine for as long as our relationship lasts we will have a lot of it, among other things. I do love that she has good taste. I’ve learned a lot from these kind of women. Our conversation was again about life and more nothing, but the type of nothing you know leads to something.
Maybe it’s younger girls that want banter all the time, but is that even real? I think there are places in a conversation where you insert wit and banter, but it’s never my whole conversation. I might not even say anything witty until I understand a person’s vibe a bit more. The whole idea that you must be witty all the time seems to come from sitcoms, TV, which I don’t watch a lot of. It’s that constant need to be entertained; every line is a punch line, but that’s not real to me. I never grew up around that in real life. My first time even being aware that that was a thing was when I landed in LAX after being out of the country for a while. It felt like everyone was cracking jokes, even the police officers. I felt like I was in a sitcom. But as I went back to my real life, that element was a mere sprinkle throughout my days. It didn’t make up the majority of my interactions. I’ll leave that full-time job to the comedians and funny guys.
Instead of trying to think of something to say, I leaned back and listened. I learned a lot. She’s done a lot of intense shit. In a way I think I love that fire that she brings. I don’t show it all the time, but that same fire burns within me. This time, my eye contact was intense as I thought about all the things I wanted to do to her when I got her alone. I also thought about how I was going to find the switch to dial down her energy, and give her a space where she could relax. A space where she could be sexy and free.
After dinner, we held each other on the street corner. She looked up at me and said, “Where to next?” I smiled and said, “Let’s go to my place.” She gave me the, “I can’t stay too long, but sure.” I’ve gotten rid of all my furniture as I prepare for my big move, so I laid down some blankets for us to lay on. She grabbed one of the only books I haven’t packed up, and I wrapped my arm around her observing her as she flicked through some pages. Then she turned around and smiled, and we locked lips.
We both struggled to get her out of her tight black dress. Her butter pecan skin was soft and supple and she smelled delicious. I had to have a taste. I love eating pussy… it’s a lovely way to get to know someone, and for them to get to know you. The first time I read “She Comes First” was right before I got married. I accumulated a few sex books thinking I needed to prepare for my future wife, and I’d need them one day to keep things spicy. The second time I read it might’ve been a few years ago. Now I’ve been building up a library of tongue and finger strokes and playing with cadence and breath as I get feedback from each woman on what they like or don’t like and trying them out as I go. I observe how different women respond to different things, and how there are some things that just work. I could feel the contractions around my fingers as she came, then I slowly pulled out and hugged her pussy with the palm of my hand. Now I was ready, but I didn’t expect to last long because I was already spewing at the brim with excitement. One thing I noticed is that she always wanted me in the dominant position. I would switch because my knees were rubbing the floor, and then she would position me back on top of her. We finished with her on top of me. Within a few minutes she was ready to go again. I couldn’t put another condom on, so we just kissed each other from head to toe until we both came a few times more. Then we melted in each other’s arms. I loved watching her go from this aggressive, intense Chilanga to a sweet and somewhat shy girl who was finally able to take a breath.
I can’t wait to see her again.
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